This was the big question asked during the men’s forum held at the Mowana Lodge in Seshego, outside Polokwane, last Sunday.

The forum, with the theme Men on a Journey of Social Transformation, was organized by the Commission on Gender Equality in partnership with the Moral Regeneration Movement, the Department of Safety, Security and Liaison, the Limpopo Youth Commission, the SABC and the Government Communication Information System.

The forum, which was also attended by few women, was aimed at identifying why men are violent towards women and children and why they rape them. It was also aimed at finding solutions on what can be done to avoid such evil deeds.

The forum argued that men became violent after the implementation of new laws which they believe are biased towards women like women empowerment and a 50/50 representation that they say is misinterpreted by some women. “As opportunities are now directed at women, even though some are not skilled, the majority of men are becoming isolated and become violent as they suffer from an inferiority complex when their partners are becoming too powerful financially,” the forum argued.

The forum also stated that the majority of men do not understand some of the policies like the protection order, which is why they sometimes turn violent unnecessarily. “Men also regard women as sex objects, which is why they rape. Some also rape young children because of the myth that having sex with a young child can cure HIV/Aids,” says the forum.

Impotence on the side of men and dishonesty from both parties were cited as the reasons why many families are collapsing.

It was then recommended that more men’s forums be established so that they can meet and discuss their problems and sometimes meet with women’s forums, so that both parties can help each other solve the problems.

Men must also be educated about the new policies so that they can understand them, it was recommended.

“The department of education must also help to educate people about HIV/Aids. Condoms must also be made available at schools and rural areas so that they can be accessible to everyone.

“Channels of communications about new policies and HIV/Aids must be improved at all costs, where traditional leaders, healers and community leaders must also be involved in reaching the community,” said the forum.

Men were also encouraged to change their perception regarding women as sex objects.

Men who attended the forum included Kgosi Setlamorago Thobejane of the Congress of Traditional House Association in Limpopo, and they pledged that they would work hard in spreading the message about men’s changing their behavior towards women.

Men were also encouraged to witness the birth of their children so that they can understand the troubles women experience when delivering children and also see how important children are.

“Real men do not rape, abuse and kill. Real men have respect, love and care,” was the conclusion.