A self-confessed woman abuser, Mr Takalani Madiba, caused a stir when he publicly admitted to having abused his wife over a period.

Madiba was addressing male Correctional Services officials from three provinces, who had gathered this week to speak out against the abuse of men by their partners. Men from Mpumalanga, North West and Limpopo, the Limpopo-based men’s forum Munna Ndi Nnyi, and other organizations active in the fight against abuse gathered to voice their concerns. The function was held at the Munakisi Hall at Muledane outside Thohoyandou.

Thohoyandou Correctional Services official and gender coordinator Norman Muthala said men are often too afraid to report abuse, as they fear they will be laughed at. He said the problem of abuse should not be looked at from one perspective as it encompasses all, including women, children, men and all family members. “People only think of abuse as being perpetuated against women, but this is not the true picture as more and more men are also being abused,” he said.

He said there was a need for families to look for ways to address the problem of abuse in an amicable way.

He said that up until a few years ago, people only spoke of the abuse of women and children, forgetting that men were sometimes abused financially and physically.

Muthala said they had already trained more than 200 male prison officers at the Thohoyandou correctional services about gender empowerment and how to address gender equality and sexual harassment. “There is much interest in our programme, and more and more officials are still to be trained in order to empower them."

The chairperson of Munna Ndi Nnyi, Mr Bardwell Mufunwaini, urged women who abuse their partners and other men physically, psychologically and financially to stop as it is a recipe for disaster. “Men who are abused keep quiet for fear that the community will laugh at them, but these people are a time bomb just waiting to explode and are dangerous,” he said .

Mr Takalani Madiba, a 66-year-old self-confessed woman abuser from Itsani village, raised eyebrows when he narrated how he took pleasured in abusing his wife. “I used to come back home drunk in the wee hours of the morning, wake my wife up and give her some few kicks before ordering her to prepare food for him,” he said. Madiba said through the intervention of Munna Ndi Nnyi he managed to change his wicked ways and he is now a real man again. “I abused my wife for no apparent reason but I have Munna Ndi Nnyi to thank for having changed my mindset and making me a man again. I will never abuse women again and I also urge men like myself to stop their bad behaviour.

Munna Ndi Nnyi promotes good relationships, helps victims of abuse and fights all forms of women, men and child abuse.