Plain Truth: Practical ways of loving your wife (Part 1)

There are a number of practical ways through which men can show their love for their wives. The following examples can be given:

The husband can show his love for his wife by pointing out that apart from Christ, who will always occupy the first spot; she has the first place in his life. She is the husband’s number one priority in life - second after Christ. To help you to determine whether your wife has the first place or not, ask yourself the following questions.

What means more to me: My wife or my children? Talking with my wife or having sex with her? Meeting my wants or satisfying her needs? Praying with my wife or with other people? My work or my family? Talking to other people or my wife? The opinions and ideas of others or the opinions and ideas of my wife? (Mack, 1979:35).

The husband must communicate his love for his wife through words. Love language belongs to a Christian family and therefore husbands should not shy away from telling their wives that they love them. The “I love you” words should ring in the ears of Christian wives from Christian husbands.

Each day “love words” should become music to their ears. It does not only bring healing to them, it also becomes a declaration of the husbands’ love for their wives. It gives confirmation that all is still well in their love corner. Communicating one’s love to one’s wife is also coupled with expressing appreciation and praise when she has done something good.

You may also show your appreciation by buying her flowers or certain gifts or taking her out for lunch or supper. This may sound unfamiliar in African territory, but these are new things that African men should learn from other cultures in order to express themselves in such a way that they will affirm their love for their wives.

The husband should also provide for the wife’s needs. The following needs can be identified according to Mack (1979:33), “Physical, emotional, intellectual, social, recreational, sexual, and spiritual needs”. The husband becomes a good lover for his wife by providing satisfactorily in her needs.

We will continue with our discussion next week.

Columns - Date: 24 October 2014

Prof Derrick Mashau

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